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'erudite and cold' sort of obscenity in this way.
"All this, of course, is only one half, and by no means always
the dominant half, of his nature. He was often repentant for
these delinquencies, and he was sincerely religious. He was also
fond of serious learning and contrived to take a first-class
university degree. Yet, ever and anon, the deeply sensual side of
his nature made itself felt. Scotched for a time it could be, but
"Yet, I do not think it could be said that he had the sexual
instinct in any really high degree. It was more like a small fly
that makes a large buzz than any considerable factor in his
constitution. He had a companion about this time of whom such a
remark is even more true. This man's mind was replete with all
manner of risky stories, all sorts of sexual details. He would
take long walks with girls of loose character, talk with
prostitutes at home and abroad, and yet, I believe, he never
proceeded to coitus.
"Such then, was the subject of this notice up to the time of his
marriage. Two men, one might say, in one skin. One learned, one
merely obscene; one a pattern of decorousness, the other a
"On the sexual side he was as one knowing everything there is to
know--yet knowing nothing. Like the boy-hero in Wedekind's
_Fruehling's Erwachen_, he had been long in Egypt, yet he had
never seen the pyramids. He began to distress himself with
questions as to whether he was yet capable; whether his recurring
vice had not permanently injured him; whether he had made himself
unfit for marriage. So shy and reserved was he about his secret
that he could never have brought himself to mention it to a
medical man. 'What! he! the good, the religious! the wholly moral
and decorous!' (such was, indeed, the reputation he had among his
friends); 'he, the victim of a vice so black!' No, no! '_Secretum
meum mihi_,' he cried.
"Fortune, however, was kind to him. He was at an early age free
from financial worries, which had almost crushed him earlier in
his career, and he met in course of time the family from which he
selected his excellent wife.
"The society in which he lived was of all English classes, I
should suppose, the most reticent in matters of sex--the
respectable, lower middle class; shopkeepers and the like, with a
tradition of homely religion and virtue. The classes a little
higher in the scale (to which, by the way, his mother had
belonged) could far better sympathize with one in his position.
Well, the family of his future wife was of a higher class and,
what is far more, of foreign origin, for whom a large number of
our English 'convenances' do not exist. To them sex was frankly
recognized as a factor in life, and the mother of this household,
as he grew more intimate, broached subjects which he had never,
in such a manner, discussed before. It is unnecessary to give
here any general history of his relationships with this
household, as they have nothing to do with the matter in hand.
After some time he became engaged to the youngest daughter, two
years his senior, a woman of remarkable beauty and splendid
development, one who attracted him as none other had done, both
on account of her intellectual and social qualities and her
physical beauty (he had hitherto despaired of finding the two
combined in one person), for she is certainly the most beautiful
woman with whom he has ever been acquainted.
"He now began to make the practical acquaintance of a woman--and
one who, in impulses, temper, manner, and habit of thought,
differed _toto caelo_ from the girls he had known in his old home.
Her sexual nature was ripe and developed, and it is lucky that
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