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Table of contents
CONTENTS
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-1
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-2
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-3
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-4
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-5
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-6
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-7
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-8
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-9
ANALYSIS OF THE SEXUAL IMPULSE-10
FOOTNOTES
LOVE AND PAIN-1.1
LOVE AND PAIN-1.2
LOVE AND PAIN-1.3
LOVE AND PAIN-1.4
LOVE AND PAIN-1.5
LOVE AND PAIN-1.6
LOVE AND PAIN-2.1
LOVE AND PAIN-2.2
LOVE AND PAIN-2.3
LOVE AND PAIN-2.4
LOVE AND PAIN-3.1
LOVE AND PAIN-3.2
LOVE AND PAIN-3.3
LOVE AND PAIN-3.4
LOVE AND PAIN-4
LOVE AND PAIN-5.1
LOVE AND PAIN-5.2
LOVE AND PAIN-6.1
LOVE AND PAIN-6.2
LOVE AND PAIN-7
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-1.1
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-1.2
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-1.3
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-1.4
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-1.5
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-1.6
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-2.1
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-2.2
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-2.3
THE SEXUAL IMPULSE IN WOMEN-3
APPENDIX A-1
APPENDIX A-2-3
APPENDIX B HISTORY-1
APPENDIX B HISTORY-2
APPENDIX B HISTORY-3-4-5-6-7
APPENDIX B HISTORY-8-9-10
APPENDIX B HISTORY-11-12
APPENDIX B HISTORY-13
APPENDIX B HISTORY-14-15
APPENDIX B HISTORY-16
APPENDIX B HISTORY-17
APPENDIX B HISTORY-18
APPENDIX B HISTORY-19
INDEX OF AUTHORS

were waiting for me outside. I distinctly remember a pleasurable 

sensation--probably in part due to a physical feeling--in the 

thought of staying there when I knew I ought to have run out to 

them. From that year till the age of 10 I simply reveled in the 

idea of being tortured. I went gladly to bed every night to 

imagine myself a slave, chained, beaten, made to carry loads and 

do ignominious work. One of my imaginings, I remember, was that I 

was chained to a moldering skeleton." As she grew older these 

fancies were discontinued. At the same time there was a trace of 

sadistic tendency: "I used to frighten and tease a young child, 

driven to it by an irresistible impulse, and experiencing a 

certain pleasurable feeling in so doing. But this, I am glad to 

say, was rare, as I hate all cruelty." 

 

One of her favorite imaginings as a child was that she was a boy, 

and especially that she was a knight rescuing damsels in 

distress. She was not fond of girls' occupations, and has always 

had a sort of chivalrous feeling toward women. 

 

"When I first heard of the sexual act," she writes, "it appeared 

to me so absurd that I took little notice. About the age of 10 I 

discussed it a good deal with other girls, and we used to play 

childishly indecent games--out of pure mischief and not from any 

definite physical feeling." 

 

About a year after menstruation was established she accidentally 

discovered the act of masturbation by leaning over a table. "I 

discovered it naturally; no one taught me; and the very 

naturalness of the impulse that led me to it often made me in 

later years question the harmfulness." Both her sisters 

masturbated from a very early age, but not, to her knowledge, her 

brother. The practice of masturbation was continued. "For many 

years, imbued with the old ideas of morality, I struggled against 

it in vain. The sight of animals copulating, the perusal of 

various books (Shakespeare, Rabelais, Gautier's _Mademoiselle de 

Maupin_, etc.), the sight of the nude in some Bacchanalian 

pictures (such as Rubens's), all aroused passion. Coexistent with 

this--perhaps (though I doubt it) due to it--arose a disgust for 

normal intercourse. I fell in love and enjoyed kisses, etc., but 

the mere thought of anything beyond disgusted me. Had my lover 

suggested such a thing I would have lost all love for him. But 

all this time I went on masturbating, though as seldom as 

possible and without thought of my lover. Love was to me a thing 

ideal and quite apart from lust, and I still think that it is 

false to try to connect the two. I fear that even now, if I fell 

in love, sexual intercourse would break the charm. At the age of 

18 I came across Tolstoy's _Kreutzer Sonata_ and was overjoyed to 

find all I had thought written down there. Gradually, through 

seeing a friend happily married, I have grown to a more normal 

view of things. I am very critical of men and have never met one 

liberal-minded and just enough to please me. Perhaps if I did I 

might take a perfectly healthy view of things." 

 

In course of time various devices had been adopted to heighten 

sexual excitement when indulging in masturbation. Thus, for 

instance, she found that the effects of sexual excitement are 

increased by keeping the bladder full. But the chief method which 

she had devised for heightening and prolonging the preliminary 

excitement consisted in wearing tight stays (as a rule, she wears 

loose stays) and in painting her face. She cannot herself explain 

this. Self-excitement is completed by friction, or sometimes by 

the introduction of a piece of wood into the vagina. She finds 

that, the more frequently she masturbates, the more easily she is 


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